You know I was thinking
I thought you should know
Just trying to help
So, I thought I would show
That your problems in life would just go away
If only you’d do just what I say
The solution – to me – is so simple and thus
It’s clear from my view that it’s not crossed your mind
So, I’ve chosen to help you and to discuss
Since I am your friend, and I want to be kind
So, here are the things in your life that should change
And here are the things that you must rearrange
Oh, my dear friend – please keep your insight
I neither asked you to share nor expressed my concern
I’m not saying you’re wrong – you might just be right
The info you shared is not that which I spurn
The issue, to me, is the lack of respect and the fault that you find
These insults you’ve dressed in the garb of being kind
While help you may offer, you must understand
First you passed judgment: things aren’t as they ought
That my life has not gone the way that YOU planned
Then assumed me incapable of deductive thought
Let me assure you – I am self-aware
It simply could be your concerns I don’t share
My life is not perfect
There’re parts that need mending
But last time I checked
My world was not ending
If I get overwhelmed, I’ll seek help from a friend
If I don’t come to you, then don’t recommend


“If you’re going to die, die with your boots on.” For my fellow metal heads, Iron Maiden did not invent that quote. It is a well-known quote (in various forms) from the days of the Old West, and it basically means a desire to really live your life right up until the end, fight until your last breath, work until the final moment, or be a productive member of society until you leave this plane of existence. It’s a good quote and a commendable goal. At 77 years of age, my father was still working seven days a week when he died. He died with his metaphorical boots on. I’m not quite the workaholic that my father was, but I certainly would like to be living my life to the fullest until my final breath.

That being said, I am more focused on a different goal for my life. I want to die with my hopes up. In reality, what I am saying is that I want to live every moment of my life believing and expecting that good things will happen. This may come as a shock to those who know me and are familiar with my pessimism, my jaded outlook on life, and my general disdain for people (not the people whom I love…just EVERYONE else). Actually, this attitude adjustment has been evolving over several years, and although some may view it as some sort of spiritual awakening, I think it’s actually just logic and reason that have brought me to this epiphany.

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I sit here in front of my computer, knowing that I need to write something. I always write something on this date. I prepared. I did not bother to put on my eye makeup, knowing full well that it would be washed away by tears. Yes, there they are already – making it difficult to see the computer screen.

What will I write? What can I write? Nothing is good enough for the best man I have ever known and, yet, doing nothing is not an option because he deserves my best…even if it is not good enough. He deserves my perfect imperfection. After all, he is the one who gave it to me.

It was nineteen years ago today that my father died instantly – and unexpectedly – from a heart attack. I was thirty-one years old, and my world would never be the same. The loss of a parent is something that you never really come back from…nor should you.


Blood Really Is Thicker Than Water

I may be a freelance writer, but I am definitely not one of “those” people – you know the type – who, when you ask them about a television show or movie, look down their noses in disgust and declare, “I read books.” Yes, books are absolutely wonderful, but I am also a big fan of the visual arts and pop culture.

I was watching one of my favorite television shows last week, and the main character referred to the common adage “Blood is thicker than water.” Of course, everyone is familiar with this saying. It is regularly used to assert that nothing is more important than family. The character then went on to note that the saying is misquoted. Immediately, I took to Google to confirm. Sure enough, she was right…kind of.

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The (Un)broken Butterfly

Laura Cail

We have all heard the stories, quotes, sermons, and general warnings regarding the struggle of the caterpillar. The theme, of course, is that the struggle is necessary; metamorphosis is difficult; and (as the sign in my office states) just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. I will only speak for myself, although I imagine that I am not alone, when I say that these themes established a belief that if I am feeling earthbound, if I am struggling, if life seems difficult, or if it feels like my world is ending, then I am still in my caterpillar stage. Moreover, it means that I have not yet graduated to the perfection and bliss of the butterfly. After all, butterflies evoke feelings of joy, lightheartedness, freedom, rebirth, and a carefree lifestyle. Certainly, once you have suffered through metamorphosis and escaped your caterpillar stage of life, you will not have a care in the world. Right? WRONG!

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