You know I was thinking I thought you should know Just trying to help So, I thought I would show That your problems in life would just go away If only you’d do just what I say
The solution – to me – is so simple and thus It’s clear from my view that it’s not crossed your mind So, I’ve chosen to help you and to discuss Since I am your friend, and I want to be kind So, here are the things in your life that should change And here are the things that you must rearrange
Oh, my dear friend – please keep your insight I neither asked you to share nor expressed my concern I’m not saying you’re wrong – you might just be right The info you shared is not that which I spurn The issue, to me, is the lack of respect and the fault that you find These insults you’ve dressed in the garb of being kind
While help you may offer, you must understand First you passed judgment: things aren’t as they ought That my life has not gone the way that YOU planned Then assumed me incapable of deductive thought Let me assure you – I am self-aware It simply could be your concerns I don’t share
My life is not perfect There’re parts that need mending But last time I checked My world was not ending If I get overwhelmed, I’ll seek help from a friend If I don’t come to you, then don’t recommend
“If you’re going to die, die with your boots on.” For my
fellow metal heads, Iron Maiden did not invent
that quote. It is a well-known quote (in various forms) from the days of the
Old West, and it basically means a desire to really live your life right up
until the end, fight until your last breath, work until the final moment, or be
a productive member of society until you leave this plane of existence. It’s a
good quote and a commendable goal. At 77 years of age, my father was still
working seven days a week when he died.
He died with his metaphorical boots on. I’m not quite the workaholic that my
father was, but I certainly would like to be living my life to the fullest until
my final breath.
That being said, I am more focused on a different goal for my life. I want to die with my hopes up. In reality, what I am saying is that I want to live every moment of my life believing and expecting that good things will happen. This may come as a shock to those who know me and are familiar with my pessimism, my jaded outlook on life, and my general disdain for people (not the people whom I love…just EVERYONE else). Actually, this attitude adjustment has been evolving over several years, and although some may view it as some sort of spiritual awakening, I think it’s actually just logic and reason that have brought me to this epiphany.
I sit here in front of my computer, knowing that I need to
write something. I always write something on this date. I prepared. I did not
bother to put on my eye makeup, knowing full well that it would be washed away
by tears. Yes, there they are already – making it difficult to see the computer
What will I write? What can I write? Nothing is good enough for the best man I have ever known and, yet, doing nothing is not an option because he deserves my best…even if it is not good enough. He deserves my perfect imperfection. After all, he is the one who gave it to me.
It was nineteen years ago today that my father died
instantly – and unexpectedly – from a heart attack. I was thirty-one years old,
and my world would never be the same. The loss of a parent is something that
you never really come back from…nor should you.
I may be a freelance writer, but I am definitely not one of “those” people – you know
the type – who, when you ask them about a television show or movie, look down
their noses in disgust and declare, “I read books.” Yes, books are absolutely wonderful, but I am also a big fan
of the visual arts and pop culture.
I was watching one of my favorite television shows last
week, and the main character referred to the common adage “Blood is thicker
than water.” Of course, everyone is familiar with this saying. It is regularly
used to assert that nothing is more important than family. The character then
went on to note that the saying is misquoted.
Immediately, I took to Google to confirm. Sure enough, she was right…kind of.
We have all heard the stories, quotes, sermons, and general
warnings regarding the struggle of the caterpillar. The theme, of course, is
that the struggle is necessary; metamorphosis is difficult; and (as the sign in
my office states) just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it
became a butterfly. I will only speak for myself, although I imagine that I am
not alone, when I say that these themes established a belief that if I am
feeling earthbound, if I am struggling, if life seems difficult, or if it feels
like my world is ending, then I am still in my caterpillar stage. Moreover, it
means that I have not yet graduated to the perfection and bliss of the butterfly.
After all, butterflies evoke feelings of joy, lightheartedness, freedom, rebirth,
and a carefree lifestyle. Certainly, once
you have suffered through metamorphosis and escaped your caterpillar stage of
life, you will not have a care in the world. Right? WRONG!